so let me first say that i really enjoy being a part of the social-networks; Twitter and Facebook. i love connecting with friends from High School and staying involved with people's lives. i also love having an easy medium to share my thoughts/work/ideas with people i think would be interested in the content.
One of the elements i've noticed about being on Facebook is that you start to understand what type of character your friends have. it used to be that i only saw so-and-so a few times a month/year, maybe an email here and there and whatnot. it was a little difficult to fully judge what kind of person so-and-so was from those infrequent visits, but now with Facebook and multiple status updates, i can really get a feel for my friends personalities.
is this good or bad?
none of my friendships have really changed due to Facebook, but i am starting to think that they might in the future. on the negative side, i've discovered that i have a friend who is on the Debbie Downer level of pessimism. I have a friend who is not clued into the real world. i have a friend who is elite-ist, and they think they're better than everyone else.
I've also been connected to friends from the past who have great qualities, and i've "socialized" with them more than i thought i ever would. But i guess my question is this; can my friends handle the truth? if i told them that i thought they were overly negative would they break-down, would they get super defensive and fire a flaw right back at me? would that end the friendship? should it end the friendship?
I know i have many flaws, no doubt about it, but i don't have too many people in my life that will just come out and tell me whats up. apparently i'm that person for a lot of people, good or bad, i usually let my emotions show, i'm usually easily offended (apparently), and i have said things to my friends that were a little blunt. i still have the same core-group of friends that i've had basically since i got married so maybe that's a good sign!
would you want someone to tell you if they thought you were making terrible financial decisions or would you rather them mind their own business? I feel like i need my friends to let me know when i'm being distant, or offensive, or stupid, or irresponsibly, but i don't know if they ever really do tell me that. i love to critique things; music, sports, stories, whatever and i feel like i would like someone to do that for/to me to let me know where i stand.
what do you think? if one of your friends told you that based on your "tweets" that you're a whiner, how would you take it?
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6 comments:
"i've discovered that i have a friend who is on the Debbie Downer level of pessimism. I have a friend who is not clued into the real world. i have a friend who is elite-ist, and they think they're better than everyone else. "
tell me that one of these people is me.....
actually, I am ruling it out, since i think you are talking about the people on facebook. anyway, you know man, the reason that you are (and have been since we started hanging out together) such a good friend is that you are always honest.
if i were a facebooker though, i wouldn't want someone to tell me something bad about myself in front of the rest of the facebook world. i'd want it done in private. thats just me though.
yea, i wouldn't want that criticism public either, maybe not even through email/text but in person so you wouldn't be misunderstood.
and no, none of these people are you, you haven't tweeted enough for me to judge you yet!
i bet that last tweet was enough... :)
I think it depends on person.
Part of me think that if you are going to publish stuff for people to see then you are just asking for feedback, because otherwise, why would you publish it in the first place?
But then going back to 'it depends'... I think if you're fairly close than sure. If your close to them then you know (somewhat) how they'd take it.
Just my take...
I agree that if it is someone you are in close community with, the issue should be put out there ... privately. If it is just a reconnect from the past, perhaps just blocking their updates ... thus looking just when you choose to, would suffice. Facebook, real life, tweeting .... we are to "speak the truth IN LOVE". (Am I one of 'em??? haha)
I'm thinking Facebook and Twitter are pretty shallow ways to connect. Not necessarily a bad thing. We can't be close to everyone in our life. But I don't think it is an accurate depiction of someone's character. I think for many people a big appeal for those sites is that you can carefully construct who you want people to think you are, not who you actually are.
If you are in a close relationship with someone, I definitely think you should be able to tell them in a loving way. If you are not in a close relationship, I don't think you should. It's not fair to bring something up like that if you don't really know the person.
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