God? Is That You?

i had a pretty eventful day yesterday. Actually, i've had a pretty wierd 2009 in terms of my health. anyone that knows me knows that i try to be pretty healthy, playing soccer and other sports, and staying active. But you also might know that i've had my share of health problems including multiple knee surgeries and heart surgery, all before turning 30! no big deal though, i feel great.

Yesterday, however, i experienced the worst pain i might have ever felt. that's a pretty big deal considering i've had knee problems forever, broken bones, stitches, concussions and turf toe! yesterday i had a toothache that was intense, there was no way to relieve the pain, no pressure points or pain meds could help me. no way to help ward off the pain or prevent it from happening. i had this pain a few weeks ago and went to the dentist on the spot (something i'm not fond of - dentist), i explained my pain and he determined i had a cavity and decided to fill it on the spot. i was not convinced, but he said it should feel better. well it didn't, and after 3 weeks i couldn't take it anymore. yesterday the pain got so bad that on a few occasions i had to bolt outside thinking i was going to throw up. i jetted over to the dentist again and got an on-the-spot appointment set for 2p. i hadn't slept much the previous nights due to the pain, and i wasn't eating because i didn't want to aggravate my tooth more.

As i sat in the waiting room, thinking i was going to die either from the pain, or from the anxiety that accompanies me on my dentists visits, i began to shake a little. i was just out of strength and i was shutting down. just then on the overhead speaker, very faintly, i heard a female DJ talking, she says "...if you're getting a root canal, don't worry, they're no sweat. i just had one and i'm back at work today, i was really nervous but it didn't hurt at all. i feel great, no problems!. and now back to 25 consecutive minutes of music..."

At first i thought it might be an in-house radio station, you know, like you might hear at a McDonalds or Starbucks. but no, this was KOZY 101, here in Denver, an oldies station.

Now just to give a little back story, my walk with Christ has been on fire lately. i have been reading a ton, and really getting into The Word, and as a result i've really challenged my self and my prayer life. After reading through most of Blue Like Jazz i realized that i had some pride issues that were preventing me from accepting the fact that i am loved, and that i need to ask for prayer for myself. i started emailing some really close friends asking for prayer about some of the things going on my life, and about my tooth. I was praying a lot yesterday, just for strength and for comfort knowing that i would be alright.

I really feel like this little incident with the radio DJ was God telling me that he's listening, and that i'll be alright. It could be a reach, or just a coincidence, or whatever you want to make of it, but to me it was my God letting me know he's here! This is the first time i've had an incident just like this, and its funny that i just told the story about being at a summer camp and having a similar incident happen to me, to Alan this summer, reliving the experience again.

I'm a skeptic just like most people, my wife has told me some amazing stories and i've always been skeptical, and i regret that all the time. People focus in too much on what or why would God do these things, and to be honest, we're never going to be able to figure that out all the way. It doesn't matter that God was telling me that a root canal is easy, the fact that He comforted me in that moment is what is important, at least to little ole me.

So, not to be more long-winded, but a few hours later a dentist was able to do my root canal on the spot. the procedure was really easy, and it was aided by the fact i got to listen to Comeback Kid on my ipod during it, really loud, drowning out the drills! I drove home and i have felt great ever since. i couldn't believe the pressure that was relieved on my head from the root canal. i feel awesome today.

Living in a fallen world is very tough sometimes, i feel like i've been dealing with a variety of dramas and stressful situations lately, stuff that might make someone else fall apart or want to just take timeout and hide. i'm feeling encouraged that my God is there for me, love me for who i am, and has surrounded me with awesome awesome people that support each other no matter what, starting with my amazing wife that has to deal with my failings more often than she deserves.

thanks everyone for the prayer and for being great people in my life.

Vick vs Stallworth

There seems to be a ton of opinion being thrown around about the outcome of the Donte Stallworth DUI / manslaughter case. If you haven't been paying attention, Cleveland Browns wide receiver Donte Stallworth has been given a 30-day jail sentence after he struck and killed a 59-year old pedestrian in Miami. Stallworth was over the legal limit and was tagged with a DUI on top of the accidental manslaughter charge.

You should already know everything you want to know about Micheal Vick, he served a 2-year prison sentence for the felony of running an illegal dog-fighting ring, transporting dogs over state lines, and killing dogs in the process. he is also in trouble for lying to investigators and not being cooperative.

Typically, when news like these stories hit and seem to get the same reaction from everyone, which in this case seems to be (as my buddy Nuccio puts it): "Vick gets 2 years in prison for killing dogs and Stallworth gets 30 days for killing a human?? WTF?!" . When this happens i try to go against popular opinion and figure out the other perspective.

In this case, i wanted to know why Stallworth got such a short sentence, as of today the judge has allowed him to train for football during his house-arrest, he's trying to play this season for the Browns. After a little research i came across this article, and instead of trying to re-word it, i'm just going to point you to it.

Look At The Facts

"The reality is they're [the two cases] apples and oranges," Alex Levay, a top Virginia criminal lawyer, told me on Thursday. "One is an accident [Stallworth] and the other [Vick] is a conscious decision to engage in an illegal act."

Humbled

This past weekend i had the pleasure of attending the Sonshine Festival in Wilmar, Minnesota with my good friend Alan. We took a pop-up camper and camped out for 3 days and enjoyed a heavy dose of Christian music, most bands of the metalcore genre. it was awesome.

Some of you might know that i have a tendency to be judgemental, not so much to people's face, but judging of style/musical choices. i love to pick apart people at shows, even the bands, and do it from a distance. You might say that a Christian music festival is the pinnacle of targets to be judged from the youth-group leaders to the "cool" parents to the young awkward kids. This past weekend was no different, as the first night of metal bands were playing i stood there with my arms crossed and critiqued each kid's choice of shirt, or tight-pants, or dancing "style", or a band's tendency to by a little preachy, and so on. at one point during this, Alan and i got a chance to sit down and relax while waiting for the next band. We were talking about our history getting into music and whatnot, and i started to criticize some more kid's choice of style when Alan asked me a most impactful question:

"Were you always so cool?"

...uh...

i doubt Alan knew the impact of the question at the time, but i couldn't stop running the question through my head the whole night. Why did i think i was so cool? when i was in high school i started developing my "style", based off of bands that i enjoyed at the time; H20, Sick of It All, punk bands. I took a lot of criticism from everywhere, youth group, adults, fellow classmates, for sagging my shorts and wearing longer shorts that some said looked like capri's. i didn't care though, i was comfortable and confident.

and so are most of these kids at the shows, who am i to judge? here i am 27 yrs old going to metal shows with a bunch of 15 yr olds!?

so after a lot of thought i decided to let my criticism go, these kids love these bands and that's what mattered. after that first night i was really able to enjoy the weekend, worshipping with the Glorious Unseen and David Crowder, hardcore "dancing" with August Burns Red and Norma Jean, gettin' low with Big Al, even enjoying the Sunday morning church service at my wife's home church that is a little charismatic (and i've hated on a few times here and there). It was a great weekend, very humbling yet i felt so much better, and honest.

thanks Alan!

Can You Handle It?

so let me first say that i really enjoy being a part of the social-networks; Twitter and Facebook. i love connecting with friends from High School and staying involved with people's lives. i also love having an easy medium to share my thoughts/work/ideas with people i think would be interested in the content.

One of the elements i've noticed about being on Facebook is that you start to understand what type of character your friends have. it used to be that i only saw so-and-so a few times a month/year, maybe an email here and there and whatnot. it was a little difficult to fully judge what kind of person so-and-so was from those infrequent visits, but now with Facebook and multiple status updates, i can really get a feel for my friends personalities.

is this good or bad?

none of my friendships have really changed due to Facebook, but i am starting to think that they might in the future. on the negative side, i've discovered that i have a friend who is on the Debbie Downer level of pessimism. I have a friend who is not clued into the real world. i have a friend who is elite-ist, and they think they're better than everyone else.

I've also been connected to friends from the past who have great qualities, and i've "socialized" with them more than i thought i ever would. But i guess my question is this; can my friends handle the truth? if i told them that i thought they were overly negative would they break-down, would they get super defensive and fire a flaw right back at me? would that end the friendship? should it end the friendship?

I know i have many flaws, no doubt about it, but i don't have too many people in my life that will just come out and tell me whats up. apparently i'm that person for a lot of people, good or bad, i usually let my emotions show, i'm usually easily offended (apparently), and i have said things to my friends that were a little blunt. i still have the same core-group of friends that i've had basically since i got married so maybe that's a good sign!

would you want someone to tell you if they thought you were making terrible financial decisions or would you rather them mind their own business? I feel like i need my friends to let me know when i'm being distant, or offensive, or stupid, or irresponsibly, but i don't know if they ever really do tell me that. i love to critique things; music, sports, stories, whatever and i feel like i would like someone to do that for/to me to let me know where i stand.

what do you think? if one of your friends told you that based on your "tweets" that you're a whiner, how would you take it?

Buy Coffee - Help stop human trafficking

the International Justice Mission has teamed up with Storyville Coffee to help raise money against human trafficking.

The IJM is one of my absolute favorite organizations and Gary Haugen's team does great great work helping those who are oppressed in third world countries.

Storyville Coffee has decided that 100% of the revenue they collect in May will go to IJM! so not only do you get some great coffee, you get to help a great cause. please take a minute and check it out!

Here's my stuff (i ordered on May 1st, coffee roasted on May 4th, sent priority mail which they do with every order, received May 6th.  pretty awesome turnaround time!)

RANT: Spoilers

Okay, so i'm gonna rant a little here.

We've all known about Spoiler Alerts for awhile, and basically it's in bad taste to spoil a movie or whatever for someone else, especially if it's something that doesn't have a set date, for example, a movie. people can go see that movie anytime, whereas a sporting event happens on a certain date or time.

With the popularity of Facebook, Myspace, Twitter, and social networking it is very easy to find out the results of an event, maybe even before you want to. here's a hint, if you don't want to know who won a game, who got voted off American Idol, who won the Presidential Election - DON'T GO ON FACEBOOK.

If you are DVR'ing, Tivo-ing, recording an event, and you don't want to know what happens, YOU need to put out the effort to stay away from places where you might find the result, like the internet, or a phone call from a friend who likes the same event, or co-workers. You can't blame somebody else for ruining it for you.

We've learned this a lot in this day-and-age, with so many reality TV shows like American Idol, Top Chef, Dancing With the Stars, etc that you just cannot go on Facebook or Twitter because most likely one of your friends have updated their status with "I can't believe that Danny Gokey just won Idol, yes!!".

Unfortunately for me, i follow European Football, which takes places right about noon our time, so it takes a lot of effort to make it half a day at work without most of the Internet. then getting home, ignoring my soccer friends, and firing up the DVR about 8p (since Addie could care less about soccer). but its something i have to do if I want to watch something "live".

Do you get it? don't blame me if i post an update with the result of something you're trying to hold out for, especially if my status update starts with ***SPOILER***. sheesh.

My Feelings on the Browns Draft

This year wasn't nearly as dramatic as 2 years ago, when the Browns passed on Adrian Peterson and Brady Quinn to take left tackle Joe Thomas, and then traded to also get Brady Quinn. I liked that pick, and i like this year's pick as well.

If you didn't follow the draft, the Browns were picking #5 after their terrible season last year. A lot of buzz was being created about the Browns trading out of that spot, and it eventually happened, trading with the NY Jets and their 17th pick. From there, the Browns traded to the 19th pick, and finally to the 21st pick, picking up later picks as they went. In the end the Jets took the highest profile player in the draft, Mark Sanchez from USC, and the Browns took a center that no one had really heard of, and about 10 other players, and got 3 players from the Jets (the Jets that new Browns coach Eric Mangini coached for the last 3 years).

WPB Dawg Fan broke it down the best anyone could, at The Browns Board so i'll let him do all the talking:

When we traded from #5 overall down to 21 (eventually) the Browns got a lot more than just 3 players and a pick. A LOT MORE!!!

All total, the Browns got:
#21 Alex Mack, C
#52 David Veikune, LB
#191 Coye Francies, CB
#195 James Davis RB
Brad Ratliff, QB
Kenyon Coleman, DE
Abram Elam, S

Coleman and Elam are likely to be starters for the Browns...but at the very least they will be key rotational players. Mack is also likely to be a starter....and Veikune is expected to challenge for the OLB starting roll.

So, instead of getting ONE starter (Raji or whomever) at #5...the Browns filled 3 to 4 positions.

BUT THAT IS NOT ALL!!!

The thing that nobody is talking about is the fact that the Browns ALSO saved about $40M on the rookie salary to their first round player. And this may actually be the most important component of the trade!!!

That means that the Browns will be in a position to make contract extensions to key FA's next year:

RB Jerome Harrison UFA (likely starter)
FB Lawrence Vickers UFA (starter)
WR Braylon Edwards UFA (starter)
OT Ryan Tucker UFA (starter)
OL Isaac Sowells UFA
LB D'Qwell Jackson UFA (starter)
LB Leon Williams UFA
SS Brodney Pool UFA (starter)

The Browns have 5 starters that will be FA's next year, and 1 that is a likely starter (Harrison will likely play often).

That is a lot of talent the Browns need to lock down going into next year....and that $40M will go a long way to making sure we are able to keep the talent we want to keep.

We will also have a full slate of draft picks in 2010 (and an additional 5th)...in what is shaping up to be a much stronger draft than this years.

So...the Browns actually got at least 3 starters (maybe 4), were able to keep options open for trading a QB (DA) or WR (BE), and saved enough money to keep the 5 starters we stand to lose to FA next year.

I would say...for the price of ONE PICK...

THAT WAS AN AWESOME TRADE(S)!!!

Feeling much better about this season than all of the Bronco fans here in Denver!